Where do you start with a history that has now spanned 13 years? In the beginning when it seemed perfect? In the middle where it was just starting to fall apart? Or now, where every day is a challenge to keep a smile on my face in front of my daughter? It's nothing she's done. It's nothing she's said. It's the people that are trying to prevent her from growing up normally. That have prevented her from growing up normally, I should say.
Father in prison. Grandmother trying to take his place. Both diagnosed with mental disorders.
I guess we'll set the stage, as they say. Any names in this blog are purely fictitious, as is "Angsty McAngsterton"... duh ;)
I am 35 years old. I've been divorced twice, the last one being the most difficult. I didn't breed with my first husband. Hard to do that when you despise each other once the rings were exchanged... but I'll get to that later. My second marriage produced my daughter, and I'll be damned if I'm going to say our daughter. She's mine. I've been the one that's been by her side her entire 5 years on this planet (I can hear her now telling me she's 5 and 1/2). I am the one that has always fed her. Bathed her. Dressed her. Transported to and from daycare. Woke up in the middle of the night when she had nightmares. Held her when she was sad. Rocked her when she was sick. He... well... let's just say, he was never up to any of that sort of business. Again, I'll get to that in a bit.
My daughter is 5 (and a 1/2), very smart, very vocal, and may or may not show signs of ADHD at this point. Hell, she may be showing signs of their mental disorders, but we've just found yet another counselor that may or may not work out for her. This is her third counselor since she was three, and I'm just hoping that this works for her. She has issues. Of course she would have issues after what these people have put her and I through. I'm just hoping someone can help. Someone needs to help me crack into her skull and get her thoughts and feelings out. She's so closed up, it's hard to get her to talk about anything. She's blocking things, and that's not healthy to do whether you're 5 or 35.
My fiance' and her step-dad is 36. We've actually known each other since high school (over 20 years now, don't I feel old...) and we were best friends back then. We had a bit of a falling out, but as I've said before I'm just setting the stage and not getting into the hardcore details yet. Think of this as the cast list or list of players, as it were. He came back into my life exactly when I needed him, and just like in high school, he's my best friend. Together, we're fighting to stop these people from condemning my daughter to a life of distress.
The biological father. Well, as I said he's in prison. What is he in prison for, you're probably wondering... well... According to the judge in our never-ending court saga, he had a bad day. (There will be a special blog post just on this specific sentence, I have a feeling, I can feel the rage welling up already just typing that sentence.) He, for still unknown reasons, decided it would be a good idea to rob a gas station with a gun, have a high speed chase through two cities, hold off two SWAT teams for 3 hours while threatening to kill himself. So he's in prison for 7-15 years, which when calculated at the time of his arrest will be 2018 at the earliest.
The grandmother. And when you read this, I want you to put as much loathing and spite into the word grandmother as you can muster. There is no formatting technique available to put hatred into a word like that. She's in her 60's (to be perfectly honest, I never cared how old she was, when her birthday was, or anything... this is how much of a typical "in-law" she was)... She has twin children at home that are around 13. So yes, folks, she had twins after she hit 50. On purpose. More on that later. She has taken it upon herself to try to step into her firstborns shoes while he's away in prison, supposedly rehabilitating from his bad day.
There are other people in this convoluted mess, but I'll introduce them when their time comes.
Now that you know the main people in this mess, where should I begin? Is your interest piqued yet?
